Why Do They Do That? Common Causes of Childhood Behavior

Have you ever looked at your sweet child or student or some darling on the playground and wondered, "What the heck is their deal?"

I know it's not just me. Parents often come to me perplexed about their children's behavior. I hear:

Why do they do that?
Is that normal?
Why is my child so strange?
What have I done wrong?

To be honest, I have asked myself those same questions as well. Why do children behave the way they do?

Causes of Childhood Behavior

Genetics

Genetic makeup may influence much about behavior. Children are born with distinct temperaments. Temperament is defined as "a person's nature, especially as it permanently affects their behavior." Characteristics of one's temperament can be seen early in life. Some babies adore and seek out attention. Some are more sensitive and startle easily. Some have a lot of energy and love activity. Some adjust to change more slowly. While temperaments are often consistent, they are not static. Temperament can and does change, especially in early childhood.

Temperaments are not good or bad. They just are. Problems can arise, however, when adults label a temperament as good or bad. This may be done when an adult has or values a different temperament.

For example, an introverted parent who prefers quiet may view an energetic, outgoing child as "too busy." An adult who prefers novelty and taking risks may have little patience for more cautious children.

In addition to temperaments, children may be born with predispositions for different mental and physical abilities that may affect how they gather information from and interact with their environment. These differences can affect behavior by influencing, among other things, attention, mood, sensory input, and processing.

Health

A child may whine more when they have a fever; may be more irritable when sleep is interrupted. Food allergies and sensitivities often have mood and cognitive symptoms.

A child's behavior is certainly impacted by health. And how adults respond to children's behavior is influenced by our understanding of their health.

I think about a student who interrupted their first-grade class and never seemed to practice copying letters from the board. That child was labeled as "disruptive" and frequently sent to the office. Halfway through the school year, it was discovered that the child needed glasses. The child's classroom behavior was not due to the "problem" of defiance. It was due to an underlying and, thankfully, easily treated health concern. They had been unable to see the board clearly and could not do the class assignment.

Watching Others

Children are always observing and imitating. That is how they learn. That is how they learn all of the wonderful things we're proud of like walking, talking, and kissing "owies" to make them feel better. It is also how they learn to imitate our not-so-proud moments. Children may pick up habits like swearing, hitting, or yelling to get their way if they witness such behaviors often. When children exhibit concerning behaviors, it can be helpful to examine the behaviors they may have witnessed.

Discipline

How adults teach, promote, and discourage behaviors influence how children behave. Some questions to consider are:

Are the discipline strategies being used consistently?
Have instructions been given clearly?
Has the child been given attention for their positive behaviors?
Is there too much emphasis on punishment?
Are caregivers using bullying or shaming?

Stress

Stress is a health issue and health affects behavior. In addition, stress may disrupt routines, upset family relationships, and make parenting more difficult. Children and adult behaviors are impacted by stress.

Outside Influences

While children are greatly influenced by their family and home life, they also learn a lot from their broader community. Common outside influences include:

friends
school
media

Having realistic expectations is one of Triple P's core components. Understanding child development helps parents develop reasonable and realistic expectations for their children and themselves. Knowledge of parenting and child development is an essential protective factor linked to strong, healthy, and safe family relationships. The more adults know about the causes of childhood behaviors, the better equipped they are to respond to the behaviors appropriately.

What would you add to this list? What's something else that influences children's behavior? Let me know in the comments below.

Categories: : Parenting