Repairing Parent-Child Relationships: Affirmations for Strengthening Relationships

I have struggled with mental health challenges for nearly my entire life. Several years ago, I experienced a particularly rough time. I had just gotten out of an emotionally abusive marriage. I was far from familiar family and friends. I was underpaid and worried about how I was going to pay my bills. I had a hormonal imbalance and frequent migraines. And my sleep was terrible.

My youngest was the only child home then. He experienced the emotional rollercoaster of my marriage with me. He, too, was far from our family. He was aware that our budget changed after the divorce. And he witnessed me bedridden and unwell.

My response to the stress was to withdraw. His response was to try to get my attention by being super active, hitting, being loud, and doing the opposite of what I asked him to do. I'd withdraw further and he'd ramp up the behaviors.

One evening, after what seemed like hours of escalating behaviors, I yelled out, "I'm so fu**ing tired of this!"

I cursed at my child, y'all. His face crumpled. I cried. I felt like the worst parent on the planet. I had to do better.

I had to find a way to make up for the harm I was causing. I had to find a way to show him how much I really loved him. I had to find a way to give him attention and space to communicate his needs. I just had to bring some joy back into our family.

In short, I had to follow my own advice and follow the seven steps to repair my relationship with my son.

"I can strengthen my relationships."

I'd like to say that since I knew better, I immediately did better but I can't. Knowledge often needs the help of reminders and motivation. That's where affirmations come to play.

Dictionary.com states an affirmation is "the assertion that something exists or is true." In psychology or spirituality, an affirmation can be a statement of a truth a person desires but has not yet realized. It is a statement that serves as a reminder and inspiration for a change one would like to make. When repeated or written down, an affirmation can focus one's attention on the feeling of meeting a goal.

I needed focus. I needed motivation. I needed reminders. I tried affirmations.

Affirmations can be written or stated in the present or future tense. They should be personal and believable to you. Below are sample affirmations in the different aspects of strengthening parent-child relationships.

Showing Affection to Your Child

I show my appreciation and gratitude.
I tell my child I love them daily.
I demonstrate affection by hugging my family.

Actively Listen to Your Child

I listen attentively.
I show empathy and concern.
I dedicate time to listening to my child.

Spend Quality Time With Your Child

I make family time a top priority.
We enjoy family dinners together.
I have enough time to play with my child.

Choose Activities That Interest Your Child

I play board games with my children because they enjoy them.
I'm happy to allow my child to choose activities.
I take time to learn what my child likes.

Regulate Your Own Emotions and Behavior

I am a positive role model for my children.
I calm myself before addressing my child's behavior.
I admit when I'm wrong and apologize.

Build Social Support

I have people I can depend on for love and support.
Having friends makes me a better parent.
I ask for help when I need it.

Parents, we can build, strengthen, and repair our relationships with our children. To be transparent, my son and I both needed therapy and support groups to help us. Affirmations were one of the many tools we were given.

Affirmations kept my mind positive in between therapy appointments. They were little prompts to help me regulate my emotions. They were daily reminders of the type of parent I wanted to be. I still use affirmations. They help limit the negative self-talk I can have about parenting a teenager.

What about you? Have you used affirmations? What was your experience with them?

Categories: : Family Relationships