What Is Positive Parenting and Why You Should Try It

There's a saying that goes, "Never discuss politics or religion in polite company." Well, for many, there's a third taboo subject: how to parent. Few things rile an adult up more than a critique of their parenting.

Since I've been known to sometimes discuss politics and religion and parenting education is my life's work, you may say I'm a glutton for punishment and not very polite. While you may do with that information what you will, I hope you continue to read.

Taboo or not, talking about parenting styles and practices is necessary. Learning from and supporting other adults as we navigate how best to nurture, protect, and provide for children benefits our personal, family, and community wellbeing. Moreover, it can help prevent child abuse and neglect and protect children from literal life and death situations. Children's lives are more than worth an uncomfortable conversation.

Parenting has been defined as the process of supporting "the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood." Positive parenting is an oft-mentioned style of parenting.

What is Positive Parenting?

Researchers Seay and colleagues defined positive parenting as "the continual relationship of a parent(s) and a child or children that includes caring, teaching, leading, communicating, and providing for the needs of a child consistently and unconditionally."

Debbie Godfrey states that goal of positive parenting is to be able to teach and discipline children "without breaking their spirit."

Additional definitions have identified the following characteristics of positive parenting:

Positive parenting is caring.
Positive parenting is nurturing.
Positive parenting is sensitive to children's needs.
Positive parenting is nonviolent.
Positive parenting provides emotional security.
Positive parenting involves teaching.
Positive parenting is empathetic.
Positive parenting provides affection and emotional warmth.
Positive parenting sets boundaries.
Positive parenting involves open communication.

Benefits of Positive Parenting

An abundance of research reveals the developmental, social, emotional, and intellectual benefits of positive parenting. The research is summarized by age group below.

Infants and Toddlers

Higher motivation among infants
Greater internalization among toddlers
Improved attachment
Better language development
More school readiness

School-Aged Children

Better school adjustment
Increased optimism
Reduced misbehavior
Increased emotional regulation

Teenagers

Better social functioning
Increased self-esteem
Reduced depression
Increased ability to cope
Increased school achievement
Increased emotional regulation
Less risky behaviors

In addition to these benefits for children, parents and families are impacted by positive parenting. Family communication, organization, and resilience increase with positive parenting strategies.

Parents do not set out to break their child's spirit. Most want their families to foster healthy development, secure attachments, and school achievement. Parental stress and a misunderstanding of child development can sometimes get in the way. Thankfully, there are a plethora of educational programs available to parents. The Positive Parenting Program, better known as Triple P, is one such program.

What is Triple P

Triple P is a parenting program that seeks to increase "the knowledge, skills, and confidence of parents" and reduce "mental health, emotional, and behavioral problems in children and adolescents." Triple P is not a prescriptive parenting program. It does not tell parents what to do. Rather, Triple P provides positive parenting strategies parents can choose to fit their family's individual needs.

According to Triple P, there are five components of positive parenting.

A safe, interesting environment
A positive learning environment
Assertive discipline
Realistic expectations
Parental self-care

A Safe, Interesting Environment

Children love to explore and experiment with their environments. It helps them learn and develop confidence and skills that lead to growing independence. Safety-proofing, supervising, and providing children with ample opportunities to play are necessary positive parenting skills.

A Positive Learning Environment

Parents are their children's first teachers and the home is their first school. Promoting development and learning are important parenting tasks. A positive learning environment does not have to include the latest educational gadgets. A positive learning environment needs only to have a caring adult to pay attention to, communicate with, and encourage children.

Assertive Discipline

People often mistakenly associate positive parenting with being passive. In truth, positive parents use assertive discipline. Assertive discipline means communicating clearly and addressing behavior consistently so children learn to honor appropriate boundaries and practice self-regulation.

Realistic Expectations

Knowledge of child development is a protective factor necessary for safe parenting. Understanding how children develop and that all children develop in their own way helps parents develop reasonable and realistic expectations. Parents should also have realistic expectations of themselves. Perfectionism has no place in parenting. Perfectionism will only lead to frustration and burnout.

Parental Self-Care

Positive parenting does not mean losing yourself or neglecting your needs. Parenting is easier and more enjoyable when parents have eaten, slept well, and are able to connect with friends. When parents take time to meet their needs, they can lower the effects of stress, improve family relationships, and reduce the risk of parenting in anger.

Which of these positive parenting skills do you find easy? Which do you find more challenging? Why? Let me know in the comments below.

Positive Parenting Support

Parents do not have to do it all alone. The village that helps to raise the child provides support for the parents as well. With the help of technology, the modern village can be anywhere in the world in addition to your own neighborhood.

Click here to learn how parent coaching can support you and your family.

Categories: : Family Relationships, Parenting